Author Archives: Shirley Martinez

Learn how to give and receive your two greatest needs—love and affection—by demonstrating 7 Practical Ways To Demonstrate Love.

Have you ever run out of fuel in your car? If you have, you’ve probably never forgotten it, especially if complete strangers had to help you push your car out of traffic! The consequences of an empty tank can mean calling someone for help, walking to the nearest gas station for a gallon of gas, or any other number of inconveniences. If you’ve experienced this, you know that seeing the fuel gauge resting on empty is never good!

In much the same way, there’s a spiritual, God-shaped tank on the inside of you designed with a gauge that begs to stay full, but it doesn’t run on gas. It runs on love and affection—your two greatest needs. This is the life Jesus came to give you: “I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)” (John 10:10, AMPC).

Love is what makes you and the people you love feel wanted, needed and accepted. It’s what gives you and them a sense of belonging. To help you thrive in giving and receiving love, consider these 7 Practical Ways To Demonstrate Love, and watch love make all the difference in your relationships.  

1. Communicate Love

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you/” –Ephesians 4:29-32

When you communicate with others, choose your words wisely. God wants you to speak words of life—words that build up, not tear down. He wants you to be friendly and nonthreatening. You could be well-meaning in what you say, but if it’s not said in love, it can come across as hard and harsh. This could impact your relationship with the other person. Another way to communicate love to someone is to give them your full attention and actively listen to them. This may require stopping what you’re doing, prioritizing the relationship over your favorite show or app, and looking the other person in the eye. These demonstrations of heartfelt communication nurture your relationships and produce the kind of close, loving, tenderhearted relationships you need and want. This is how you communicate love.

To dig deeper into God’s love for you—the love you can communicate to others, click here.

2. Show Appreciation

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” –Romans 12:10

Love begins at home with your closest relationships, so thank the people in your life consistently for all they do. Express your gratitude and show it, not just on holidays, birthdays or other special occasions. Regularly send flowers, give gifts and write love notes. Leave sweet notes in your children’s lunches or backpacks. Hide them in your spouse’s luggage before a trip. You can even leave a note in the lid of the washing machine that says, “I see all you do for me. Thank you.” When you take the time to show appreciation, you’ll find that you end up on the receiving end of appreciation too.

3. Speak Affirming Words

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11

How do you speak affirming words to people? Look for opportunities to verbally acknowledge others’ talents, skills and interests. For example, more than likely, you work with a variety of personalities in your job. Those personalities are meant to complement each other; each person has strengths that can be acknowledged and affirmed. In your home with your spouse, with your children, speak affirming words to them, telling them, “You can do it!” Oftentimes, people grow up without these affirming words, so even the slightest notice you take in another person will have far-reaching results. Speak affirming words to people by acknowledging every good thing that is in them. By doing so you are demonstrating love to them (Philemon 6, NKJV).

4. Actively Participate

“And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.” –Titus 2:7-8

When it comes to your relationships, get your head in the game and actively participate. There will always be distractions and other priorities that take you away from the most important relationships in your life. Choose instead to find ways to be involved and engaged with the people in your life. They won’t be here forever. You will never regret the choice you make to take part in the lives of those around you. With your children, take part in playing board games, attending their sports games, or even coaching. Likewise, equally share in nurturing your marriage by spending quality time with your spouse, changing the diapers, helping kids with their homework, and chaperoning the school outing. By showing up for your loved ones, you are practically showering them with love; they will never forget you were there for them, cheering them on in life.

5. Cooperate and Collaborate

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.” –Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

God connects you with others to be a team, whether at work, or in a marriage or family; and every successful team must cooperate and collaborate. If you are married, you can attest to the fact there are many times you see something from a different point of view than your spouse. It takes communication and collaboration to understand where the other person is coming from, and to find harmony. Similarly, on a work team, when each part is cooperating and doing their job successfully, the whole team functions well. This is also how it is with the Body of Christ (Ephesians 4:1-16). When you look for ways to cooperate and collaborate with others, you are meeting the needs of love and belonging in others.

If you are struggling with cooperation and collaboration in your marriage, God has encouragement for you. Click here to read 4 Truths About Faith That Can Save Your Marriage.

6. Bring Stability

 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.” –Matthew 7:24-25

Every household needs stability, and that stability comes from the adults in the household who provide that strong foundation. An inconsistent household will feel shaky and unsafe. Where are areas you can provide consistency, and thus stability, in your home? First, your children need to see that you are committed to God. They need to feel safe and secure in your relationship with Him. Secondly, they need to see you demonstrate your faith by going to church, giving to others, and treating others with kindness. Thirdly, they need to know you are there for them, no matter what. When they come to you with questions, problems or insecurities, they need to know that you will listen and not judge them. They need to know you will provide solutions for them that will bring stability and peace in their life.

7. Relax and Play Together

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” –Psalm 127:2

Every life and every household needs a sense of balance between work, play, rest and quality time together. God wants you to enjoy each other’s company, and that means an element of relaxation and play in your weekly routines. He wants you to take time to slow down. Taking time for a sabbath—a rest—in your week is part of this. Weekend getaways are part of this. Vacations are part of this. Each one is an installment in taking care of your body and relationships. Even God rested on the seventh day of Creation (Genesis 2:2-3). If God needed to rest, so do you. A healthy relationship—be it a marriage, a dating relationship, a parent-child connection, a friendship or collaborating with colleagues—requires relaxation and play time. It requires love and affection.

Watch Kenneth and Gloria Copeland explain how to practice the commandment of love:

Start activating these 7 Practical Ways To Demonstrate Love today to express the full Love of God to everyone around you. Love is what makes people feel wanted, needed and accepted; everyone needs to feel they belong. Knowing how to love is critical to being able to initiate, nurture and maintain the relationships God has given you. Do your part to keep the love tanks of everyone you love and interact with full, because no one can thrive on empty.

Related Articles:

15 Ways God Loves You

What Does It Mean to “Walk In Love?”

Improve your relationships by choosing to walk in love and following these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships.

Remember the words, “Will you be mine?” They were on most valentine cards you exchanged with your childhood friends along with boxes for you to check yes, no or maybe. Receiving a valentine as a child made you feel loved.

Isn’t that what you still want to feel today? You want to be loved—and you are. God, who is Love, loves you—unconditionally (1 John 4:10). What’s more, His love is perfect (1 John 4:17). But when it comes to living out this same unconditional and perfect love with others, nowhere will you find yourself more challenged than with those closest to you—your spouse, your children, your friends or your co-workers. And yet, love is essential to the success of your relationships.

If you want to grow closer to your spouse and your children, if you want to get along better with your friends and co-workers, study these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships and start putting them to work in your life.

1. Be patient and kind.

“Love endures long and is patient and kind.” –1 Corinthians 13:4 (AMPC)

It’s so easy to allow impatience to become a habit, but you can choose to yield to the love that’s on the inside of you. When you’re waiting in line at the grocery store or the gas station, when you’re waiting to take your turn while playing a board game, or any other time you are waiting, you can choose to allow the love of God on the inside of you to rise up. Responding to that love will enable you to be able to endure long with someone and show them kindness.

2. Be happy for others and walk in humility.

“Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.” –1 Corinthians 13:4-5

To be jealous is to have a feeling of discontent and ill will because of another’s advantages, possessions or success; to be happy for someone else requires humility. When you are jealous of another person’s possessions or success, you are comparing yourself to that person. Second Corinthians 10:12 says, “When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise” (NIV). You can be happy for others when they get a new car, a new house or a new outfit, because instead of comparing your life to theirs, you can humble yourself before God and ask Him for what you desire, knowing you will receive because your heart is right—full of the love of God for others.

Do you feel that everyone else seems blessed but you? Watch here to find out what to do.

3. Defer to others and their preferences.

“[Love] does not demand its own way.” –1 Corinthians 13:5

A key ingredient of love is self-sacrifice. It’s self-giving, not self-seeking. With every decision, you have the power to sacrifice or not. You can choose to walk in love or selfishness. The next time you have the opportunity to let someone have their way, go first in line, or choose where to go for dinner, defer to them and their preference. Sacrifice what you want for what they want. This bold move will surprise them and serve as an example to them of the love of God at work in you.

4. Leave the past in the past.

“[Love] is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” –1 Corinthians 13:5

Think about the last time you got into a disagreement with someone. Was that disagreement based on something that happened in the past? Oftentimes, the enemy will bait you with an opportunity for strife—to fight for your right to be right—and he’ll do it through the people you love. The next time such a moment arises and you’re tempted to join in the fight, bringing up the past and letting it fuel you, yield instead to the love of God. Rather than keeping a record of wrongs, practice keeping a record of rights—a list of all the good things someone does in your life.

5. Stand up for injustice and rejoice in truth.

“[Love] does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.” –1 Corinthians 13:6

Love rejoices in truth; and when you speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), you are becoming more like Jesus. He spoke the truth in love. He stood up for injustice when people were oppressed and downtrodden. Your perspective regarding injustice may be influenced by the world, by social media, by fake news or by your well-meaning circle of friends. However, the only perspective God wants you to have is His—and His perspective is found in the example of Jesus. The next time you see injustice and want to turn your head away, ask God for wisdom. He will show you what to do so that right and truth prevail (1 Corinthians 13:6, AMPC).

6. Be enduring, hopeful, steadfast and loyal.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” –1 Corinthians 13:7

What circumstances are you facing? There is no greater power to get you through difficult or painful times than love—the love of God. The love of God you experience personally—by choosing to spend quality time with Him—and the love of God you experience through others, will keep you going in the worst of circumstances. Instead of drawing back and being alone, reach out to other like-minded believers and fellowship with them. Your communion with them will strengthen you and enable you to stay steadfast and loyal in your fight of faith.

7. Always think the best of others.

“Love…is ever ready to believe the best of every person….” -–1 Corinthians 13:7 (AMPC)

Imagine how many relational conflicts would end before they ever began if people believed the best of every person first. The enemy will always want to get strife in your life and relationships, because it gives him place. But strife is dangerous. It’s defined as “vigorous or bitter conflict, discord or antagonism, quarreling or clashing, competition or rivalry.” In other words, you are yielding to strife anytime you’re against someone rather than being for them. Learn to think the best of others first by noticing the good qualities of each person you encounter.

Some people can be harder to love than others. To learn more about how to love those who seem unlovable, click HERE.

8. Be tenderhearted and forgiving.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” –Ephesians 4:32

A person who is kind and tenderhearted has learned that there are many sides to an issue; there are many perspectives to consider. When you feel wounded in a situation, you might have misunderstood what was said, you might misunderstand the viewpoint of the other person, or you might be ignorant of some facts regarding the issue. Nevertheless, choosing to forgive someone when they did you wrong or you perceived they did you wrong keeps you in position to receive forgiveness from God (Matthew 6:14-15).

9. Really love people with genuine affection and honor.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” –Romans 12:9-10

Romans 12:9-10 in The Message says, “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Being real and transparent with God is paramount to your growth in walking in love in authenticity.

You may find it difficult to practice some of these Bible verses. The good news is that you can ask God for help. Ask Him to help you love with genuine affection and practice playing second fiddle.

10. Make unity and peace a priority.

“Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” –Ephesians 4:3

Anytime you’re out of unity, out of agreement, and perhaps in strife, you’re wrong—even if you’re right. To keep walking in love, do all you can to stay in unity and peace. Talk it out. Work it out. And get back to walking in love. By doing so, you are treating each member of the Body of Christ as family. God loves when you remember that you are one Body, one family, and each one is in need of the others (1 Corinthians 12:12).

By putting these 10 Strategies for Better Relationships to work in your life, you’ll be walking in love; and your relationships will be stronger and healthier than ever. Jesus said, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). Rather than feeling loved from receiving a valentine given to you in secret, the love you receive from God will be on full display for the world to see in how you treat others.

Related Articles:

How Do I Overcome Challenges In My Marriage?

20 Confessions for Better Relationships

Making good choices is the key to living a long and healthy life, and these 10 Decisions for a Long Life will position you for longevity.

Have you ever been to the doctor and had to answer questions regarding your medical history? You’re typically given a long list of conditions with boxes to check, as part of what practitioners use to help you prevent future health problems.

Regardless of how many boxes you check, the good news is that you, as a believer, have inside information from the Word of God about how to live a healthy life. God has provided instructions in His Word that will help you live a long life. Proverbs 3:1-2 says, “My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.” Living a long and satisfying life is possible. You can make healthy choices that will prolong your life by following 10 Decisions for a Long Life based on the Word of God.

1. Have a relaxed attitude.

“A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life; jealousy rots it away.” –Proverbs 14:30 (TLB)

Stress is not good for you—and chronic stress definitely isn’t. Both will cut your life short. But if you make the decision to have a relaxed attitude and avoid jealousy, it can help you live a long life. Train yourself to roll your cares over on God and leave them with Him (1 Peter 5:7). Practice praying about everything, instead of worrying. Then you’ll experience the peace that only He can give (Philippians 4:6-7). The next time you can’t quite relax, let your response be to first pray and give all your cares to Him.

2. Forgive freely.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” –Colossians 3:13

When someone offends you by insulting you, overlooking you or hurting you in some other way, forgive them. Instead of retaliating, let forgiving others—no matter what they do to you—become a way of life. Freely forgive, even when you don’t feel like it (Ephesians 4:32). And remember, forgiving someone doesn’t mean they get away with what they did, but it does mean you get to live free spiritually, mentally and emotionally—instead of allowing bitterness to take root in your heart and being offended at every little thing (Hebrews 12:15). If you freely forgive, you will live in freedom!

For more help forgiving others, read HERE.

3. Speak blessing, not cursing.

“Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil.” –Psalm 34:12-13

When someone cuts you off in traffic or offends you on social media, it’s so easy to curse them, but God has commanded you not to speak evil. He doesn’t want you using foul language and cursing people out—even when they can’t hear you. He wants you to speak blessing in every situation. He wants you to encourage and lift people up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). By doing so, you can help change the atmosphere and their perspective. God literally gave you that kind of power (Proverbs 18:21). So the next time you start to curse, stop and bless instead.

4. Be a doer of the Word.

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” –James 1:22

You can go to church, learn the Word, and maybe even memorize it; but if you’re not actively doing the Word, you’re what the Word calls “a hearer only.” “For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it” (James 1:23-25). Decide today to be a doer of the Word by obeying what you see in the Bible, and your life will be blessed.

5. Remember God’s benefits.

“Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me.” –Psalm 103:2

God has provided many benefits for you; in fact, He lists them in Psalm 103. He forgives all your sins, heals all your diseases, redeems your life from destruction, crowns you with love and tender mercies, fills your life with good things, renews your youth, and executes justice for you, just to name a few. Live your life remembering these great and wonderful benefits; and by doing so, you will prolong your life.

Watch Gloria Copeland explain all of God’s health benefits.

6. Live a healthy lifestyle.

“He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!” –Psalm 103:5

God wants you to live a healthy lifestyle by eating healthy food, exercising and getting enough rest, in addition to other choices to take care of your body that lead to a better quality of life. Many diseases are self-inflicted by what you eat, what you do and how you treat your body—so do your best to make the right choices. Choose to live a healthy lifestyle and declare, “I like what is good for me, and I don’t like what is bad for me.” You will find that your tastes and preferences will line up with what is healthy and good for you.

7. Grow sweeter with age.

“Be kind to each other, tenderhearted….” –Ephesians 4:32

It’s such a temptation as you age to get stuck in your own ways rather than continuing to grow in the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Choosing to stagnate in your spiritual growth, and consequently your perspectives, are the opposite of having your youth renewed like the eagle’s. Instead, choose to renew your mind by continuing to feed on the Word and grow in Christ. When you are kind to everyone you meet, tenderhearted, forgiving, loving and generous, you are growing sweeter with age.

Confess the same words as Kenneth Copeland for renewing your youth HERE.

8. Bless anyone who wrongs you.

“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” –1 Peter 3:8-9

It will always be easier to speak negatively, rudely or critically of people, particularly when they wrong you in some way, but God has called you to bless—as well as to be a blessing to everyone you interact with. “Bless those who persecute you,” Paul said. “Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them” (Romans 12:14). When your heart is wounded, when someone does you wrong, bless them with your words and your actions.

9. Keep a clear conscience.

“Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.” –1 Peter 3:16

Keeping a clear conscience isn’t about deciding for yourself what’s right or wrong; it’s digging into the Word and letting the Word determine what’s right or wrong—then aligning your heart and behavior with what it says. For example, David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14), but he made several mistakes. Still, he is the one who wrote some of the most practical instructions for how to keep a clear conscience. In one Psalm he wrote, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24). Use this verse as a prayer to keep your conscience clear.

10. Take authority over the devil.

“I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.” –Luke 10:19

When Jesus left this world, He seated you spiritually with Him high above all the power of the enemy. That means there is nothing the enemy can throw your way that you can’t defeat with the Word of God. But you have to put that power into action by speaking the Word of God over your circumstances. Though you have authority over the devil—because Jesus gave it to you—you have to use Scripture to take what is yours by faith and speak to the sickness or disease trying to steal your long life.

To learn more about taking authority over the devil, watch here.

By putting the Word into practice and making these 10 Decisions for a Long Life, you will begin enjoying the long and healthy life God wants for you! Instead of having to check several health problems on the doctor’s checklist, you’ll have a body and a mind that work well—a living testimony of God’s faithfulness to His Word and to you.

Related Resources:

Choosing To Live a Long Life

Go When You’re Ready